Once again another semester of schooling comes to a close for me, and I felt it was appropriate to sit back and look at where I’m at, and where I’m going. Life as an adult is a mixed bag of…well everything. There’s a lot of great points to it, at least for me like; being able to decide my own school path and pick my own hours, work a job that I love, and in general just be much more….comfortable with myself than I used to be. Of course there are a lot of aspects of being an adult that are hard, and I mean they legitimately suck sometimes. Trying to choose your own path, and finding your way there is stressful and hard as heck some days. I know I have days where I sit back and try to decide how I’m going to possibly get into Vet school with the grades I’ve got now, or think about retaking college courses that I’ve failed…and it just gets to be too much some days. Plans get ruined by things we can’t control, everyone wants you to think about your future, and finals and tests or even work can just suck the life out of you.
Honestly I’m still in my own process of figuring out how to deal with all this…well crap. I’m trying to find my way through school, trying to figure out how I can keep myself from freaking out about things I can’t control or life in the future. Some days are better than others, sometimes I can just compartmentalize everything and look at my life week by week…but other times I lay in bed at night, silently freaking out. I’m a heck of a lot better than I used to be, and a lot of it has been through mentally training myself to do that compartmentalizing. The unknown is scary, no denying that. But when I do think ahead to my future, I try to think about it like when I was leaving High school. There was a lot I had to do, it was all so overwhelming at the time. On top of that not long after High school ended I also had to find a new job. Both starting college and getting a new job were huge steps in my life, they were horrifying at the time. I got an interview at a place I thought I wanted to work so badly, and that fell through. I got stuck taking a low level math class that made me feel like an idiot at the college I began class at. Things of course didn’t really go the way I had planned…or tried to plan. But…once I started college I realized…it wasn’t so different from life before as I thought it would be. Or really it WAS different, but it was easy to adjust to the new responsibilities I had…and I was never alone as I did it. I had guidance from family and friends. The job I had wanted might have fallen through, but eventually I found my way to a different job, working at an emergency Vet clinic…something I never really would have considered for myself (Vet clinic yes, emergency…no that thought terrified me) but now I love my job! I can’t really imagine myself doing much else!
Basically the point being, change is always scary and stressful, taking the next step in life is going to have it’s hurdles. But it’s not always going to be tough, not everything is going to go wrong (even if it seems that way some days), and sometimes even plans falling through will end up having a cool benefit you never saw coming!
I’m still a bit away from graduating college and honestly that sucks most days, it’s hard to keep my head up not knowing when I’m going to graduate. It’s hard hearing tales of stress and worry of people graduating and knowing I can’t fully relate yet. But I just have to remember that everyone’s journey is different. Everyone will experience different things through their lives and moves at their own pace. This is my journey, my pace, and I will take what comes, holding my head up as best I can.