Sometimes you just feel…stuck

I suppose I’ve just been feeling a bit….stuck lately.  A lot of people I know are now at the point of wrapping up at the very least their bachelors degrees in college, or going out and traveling somewhere (My cousin traveled abroad recently for studying, and my brother in law has traveled around for work).  And I’m just kind of sitting here…with no real idea of when I’m going to be finished with my degree.  My grades haven’t been stellar the past couple of semesters because I’ve tried to take on too much to get done quicker…bad idea :/  My best estimate is MAYBE I can be done in about a year and half, I know it can’t be any sooner than that because I have to take two semesters worth of Organic Chemistry and Physics, and THEN I have to take freaking Organic chemistry lab.  Uggh, goodie.  This is all of course hinging on the fact that I don’t fail either again (Ok technically I didn’t fail physics, I dropped it but…I was getting pretty dangerously close).  I honestly just wish I had some clearer idea of when I’m going to be done…I might take a spring class or two to help me out with that…in the fall I’m looking at Orgo, Physics, and maybe MAYBE  some kind of writing class to get me more of my “upper level non biology related” credits…we’ll see.  I know deep down, that it really doesn’t matter that I’m on year five and will at least be going into year six of my Bachelors degree…I know that there’s nothing wrong with taking my time through all this.  I think I really just have a nasty case of senior-itis right now and I’m just getting tired of being…well tired XD  I want to travel or go do…something!  I’ve been feeling too static, too stressed, I need something new beyond the daily grind of school and trying to find time for art in the cracks of time I have.  I need to NOT be worrying about Vet school and if I’m going to have the grades to get in.  

Mom and I have been talking about maybe going on a weekend trip to Chicago over my “spring” break, though she’s also going with my Aunt to Florida a week after that, so I don’t know if that’s going to actually happen or not.  If not I’m taking myself to frigging Tawas for a couple days XD Tawas isn’t exactly new to me, but I always enjoy going and right now I really don’t have the money to take a trip out of state to visit friends as much as I’d like to (probably won’t be back to work until April :c *sigh* ) My short adventure to Grand Rapids definitely helped, but it needed to be longer xD So yeah…some kind of traveling needs to happen I think.

On the plus side!  This semester of school has been going MUCH better than my last.  I’m working as a Teaching assistant for my professor who is also a fellow Dresden fan (and we both nerd out over other things together too) so it’s been pretty enjoyable so far! I’ve done some research for her over the summer as well, following Grey Catbirds, and at least if I’m stuck on campus at least another year I can continue to do research and things with her, so that’s a nice bonus.  Calculus is not my favorite class, but I got a good professor who gives lots of extra points, so it seems possible for me to pass right now.  

I think I just need to give myself a little adventure and I’ll be feeling a LOT better, and “spring” break starts February 23rd, so hopefully soon I can!  I just need to break out of this senior-itis and not worry so much.  I’ve got a goal in mind and I’m going to keep pushing my way through until I get to it, I can’t let my struggles trip me up, or dwell on my setbacks.  I’ve come this far I’m sure as heck not stopping now.  I just have to take a little time to refresh myself, reorganize where I’m at, and keep powering through.


2 thoughts on “Sometimes you just feel…stuck

  1. It’s ok to feel stuck. How you step into the future and approach schooling is usually different from what anyone else is going to do. But I know how it is to need a direction… I really kind of feel like that right now myself. Although I’m glad for more freedom it’s kind of freaky to not have your life planned out for you anymore.

    • Yeah, I had a good talk with my sister who spent six years in college and she said she felt a lot of the same things I’m feeling now. I do feel a lot better after that, and since this semester has been going so well and I got to go on my vacation I’m definitely feeling a lot more refreshed than previously. I still wish I had a little more of a solid idea of where I’m at degree-wise but I don’t feel like going to talk to an adviser that’s just going to tell me my GPA is low right now XD

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