Remember to breath

Well it’s that time of the semester again, everyone’s favorite week or weeks…finals week dun dun duuuuun.  Yeah I know it’s not my favorite either, they might as well just label it as “freak out week” (not even just for students but professors as well! ).   I just wanted to take the time to remind everyone that you can do it.  Take your time to hash out a study plan, don’t try to take everything in at once.  Sit back, breath, walk away from the notes and practice exams for a couple minutes if you need to.  I have faith in you guys 🙂 you can do it, no matter what scary final you might be facing.  I’m personally sitting and studying for my organic chemistry final right now, and boy can I tell you guys it scares me to death!  But at the same time I know that all I can do is study and do my best, usually these things turn out better than we expect 🙂  For those of you like me tackling an orgo final I highly recommend checking around youtube for video tutorials of the subjects you’re stuck on, those helped me out a lot over the semester and it’s a great way to revisit lectures you really can’t go back to.  Heck no matter what subject you’re in I’d look around and see what’s out there.

Good luck you guys! you can do it!


Youmacon 2014  I’m actually going to be lazy today and just leave a link to my journal on DA for this one, because I inserted pictures and dont want to have to redo that XD

Suffice it to say Youmacon 2014 was amazing, and largely because I got to see some of my closest online friends face to face.  Don’t ever let someone tell you that online friendships can’t be real, the fondness and love you feel for people is no less real just because there is distance between you and you have to use a computer to communicate.  Getting to see them in person just becomes all the more special because it’s like a special treat 🙂 and so very much worth the four year wait I had to meet these people.  So if you have really close online friends, don’t despair, they really are your friends and maybe one day you’ll get to meet them too ^^ (of course as always be sure you are careful about WHO you meet and talk to online ect ect yadda yadda, but I think you guys have good judgement about who and where you would meet people xD )

Late night thoughts on being “stuck”

You know, sometimes I just get really tired of the way people act like they have to be stuck in a certain way of life.  Guys listen, I know getting out of a job you’re miserable in his hard, or finding a way to get out of an abusive situation can almost seem impossible, or just any number of somethings that make you feel stuck.  Believe me I get that, and sometimes you might not see the avenues in which to get out but I firmly believe they are THERE.  The problem is people are too afraid, or maybe too comfortable to take that first step.  Maybe they’ve tried and failed and feel like that means there’s nothing.  Maybe you think trying something isn’t practical and will just end up making you worse off than you are already.  But guys seriously, if nothing else has worked so far…maybe what you NEED to do, is take a leap of faith.  Maybe you need to do that thing that scares you most, like talk to someone about a situation you’re in, maybe that means you need to quit a crappy job and search for something new, maybe you just need to stand up for yourself against someone with more authority than you.  Maybe you need to take out those student loans and go to or back to school, or maybe you just need to move out.  Whatever the case may be, maybe, just maybe you need to take that leap of faith and try something different to make life better for yourself.  Oh sometimes you may fall, and it might very well suck, but you might not even realize the path you’ve started yourself on is something better than the one you’ve left.  Don’t let “practicality”, “responsibility”, or “duty” keep you from doing what you think is right for you.  We honestly both know those are just rationalizations, ways to convince yourself to stay where it’s “comfortable” or “practical”.

I’m hardly wise guys, I’m hardly some authority on life.  I’m just a 23 year old student who might have lived more experiences in life than you think.  Just because I’m positive in attitude doesn’t mean I haven’t been through things or understand that sometimes good people fall hard.  I’ve seen that more times than I can count.  But I’ve also weathered my share of storms and seen the lights that shine through them.  I’ve taken my own leaps of faith, fallen hard, but then found what I was looking for in the end, or something even better.  I’m probably still in the processes of falling from some of those leaps, but it’s not going to stop me from taking more and seeing where they lead.  I don’t want to go through life doing something or being something I hate, if the risk of pain and entering the unknown is what it takes to get where I need to be happy, I’ll do it time and time again.

I will always have hope.

Also I do apologize if this is a little darker than usual, rambly.  I’m stewing from a night at work and have been dealing with my own anxieties lately and I may have had a coffee at work when I never drink coffee xD But I felt this was an appropriate follow up to my journal from the end of last winter about being stuck.

That time again

Oh boy happy days are here, or rather school has begun again.  For this fall semester I’ve elected to only give myself Physics and Organic Chemistry to retake…because one I had to drop and the other I failed/barely passed with a D/understood nothing all semester.  Hahaha….so yeah I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a teeny bit terrified of how this semester is going to shape up.  BUT if Calc last semester has taught me anything, it’s that extra credit saves my butt-no wait that’s not it!  It’s that practice problems and dedication CAN get me through some of the classes I dread the most.  I mean I spent years being terrified of the idea of Calculus and I passed that sucker with a B! I really cracked down and dedicated the later part of the semester to practice problems and that got me through.  So I’d like to think I can take the same approach with Physics especially.  Though I want to get a much earlier jump on things.  Organic Chemistry is still a bit up in the air right now so my plan of attack is more vague, but again I know I need to dedicate myself to memorizing certain things ahead of time so I can make it through.


Wish me luck guys!  And here’s to you all getting through the things that terrify you this fall!  Make a plan of attack and stick to it, we can do it!  Don’t let the fear of failure keep you from reaching your goals guys, I have all the faith in the world in all of you!  No matter what your challenge is, big or small, don’t ever count yourself out.  I know sometimes it hurts when you’ve worked really hard and things don’t quite work out, but that doesn’t mean they never will!  Keep at it, keep fighting!  Because even if things don’t work out perfectly the first time, I guarantee you’ll learn something valuable for the next 🙂 

Distractions and directions for this blog

I know I keep jumping away from this blog in long pauses and then I keep coming back saying I’m going to be more active.  And I really am!  Hopefully once the school semester hits in another two weeks I’ll be able to blog a little more frequently (ironic since my free time dwindles during school).  There’s a couple of reasons I haven’t been blogging as much as I wanted this summer, the first and foremost being….Distractions.  A lot of my free time this summer I have dedicated to reading and art projects that aren’t writing…I think because the only art I have TIME to produce during a school semester is writing, so I’ve been taking advantage of the time I’ve got.  Part of the reason I’ve put off blogging is because I actually am working on creating a list of my recommended reads.  Most recently my reading distractions have been books by Brandon Sanderson, who is an amazing world and character builder.  So far I’ve read his Mistborn trilogy and the sequel book to the trilogy.  All very good, if sometimes a bit dark, stuff.  But I’ll talk more about that when I finally finish that list.  My big art project this summer has been to improve my clay sculptures, and so I’ve been practicing with wire armatures/frames lately.

The second big reason I haven’t blogged as much is because a lot of what’s been coming to my mind has been…I guess you could say very rant based.  Now that’s not to say once in a while I won’t use this space to engage in a little rant ( In fact I’ve already done that once *cough* ) but for the most part I think the internet has enough of that.  There’s enough people running around ranting about things and calling the rest of the world idiots already.  Enough people to say everyone should hate something while another side raves that everyone should love it.  In short: there’s enough freaking negativity around the internet I don’t need to even accidentally add to it.  No I want this blog to be a force for positive thoughts, a place of encouragement, I want this blog to reflect one of the most important things in my life: Hope.  I want to use it to show people that it’s still possible to hope even in the darkest of times, that even if they can’t hope right now, someone out there can.  So I want to be able to banish those rants from my mind and write with a clear and positive mind…for the most part anyway xD when I’m not being random or just really need to get something off my chest.

Street Fairs are the best


Nothing really deep or spiritual today, I’m working on a listing of recommended fantasy reads at the moment.  So until then know that Street Fair’s are really awesome sometimes.  You never know what treasure’s you’ll find, it’s kind of like an adventure!  Granted about 80% of what’s there is just stuff I gloss over and pass by, but every once in a while there’s a treasure that I just can’t pass up.  IMAG0372

New things?

Man A&W’s chilli seems oddly spicy today xD …what you all thought this was going to be some deep post didn’t you?

Ok ok I tease, I’m gonna get into just a couple other things here. My birthday is upcoming in two days time…boy it doesn’t seem like it should be so soon haha I’m going to be 23, what a weird feeling, I don’t FEEL 23…then again what does that feel like huh? Anyway truth be told there isn’t a lot that’s really new coming with this age. Come fall I’ll be taking two classes I took already (Yaaaay Organic chem and physics uggh ) and this summer I’m doing much the same I’d done last…but I guess with every turn of the year I like to feel a sense of…newness. A sense that even if things have been kind of rotten (which really they haven’t lately, but IF that were so) that another year onto my age means another chance to improve or change things I don’t like. So far I’ve been keeping up well with my daily rollerblading, so thats a plus 🙂 I now have a pattern of my very own to make fox plushies (Thank you awesome big sister!! ) so I’ll be having a new project to play with, and hopefully February will bring an adventure to visit a friend way on the other side of the U.S. So we have some old and some new, and despite my dread for my fall classes I look forward to the year of being 23, and that it might bring.

Get the summer going right this time

Well I’ve been on “summer break” for around a month and a half to two months now.  I do the quotes because I’ve been working through a summer class since about a week after my winter classes ended. I’m glad I did it, cuz this class is one of my requirements and it needed to be done but..uggh I’ve just been so burnt out, quite frankly and its been really hard for me to put a lot into this class.  It’s not even just that I’m burnt out I just…eh I don’t know a lot of the people in that class really grind on my nerves (Just a lot of impatient and negative people.) I imagine they’re probably just as burnt out as I am for for the love of my sanity please stop complaining that you want to get out of lab FIVE MINUTES INTO IT.  It’s a four hour lab, you knew that before you signed up :I But!  I have a week and a half left of this class and after that I’m two months free from school!  I’ve also just been struggling with a slight lack in motivation in writing and art, I’ve done sketching sure but I haven’t hardly finished much.  Because of the class I come home on Tuesdays and Thursdays exhausted, and weekends I work so I basically have three days out of the week free and usually those are taken up by other plans or homework.  

And honestly it hasn’t been anything intense but…I’ve been feeling a bit…I don’t know if you’d call it down, but just…meh.  Probably in part due to my lack of energy for creative things, and in part I think because I’ve just not been active on my days off.  I’ve been trying to find a form of activity that I can motivate myself easily to do outside for exercise with…rather minimal luck. Until today!  Oh my ever loving fish you guys, I’ve finally figured it out!!  I dug out an old pair of rollerblades from our garage and I forgot how much I loved it!  I got them out today, dusted them off and rolled on down the road with one of the dogs and I feel FANTASTIC!  I’ve been on a bit of an upswing with my motivation the past few days and with finally finding the right outdoor activity I really think this is a turn around for getting my summer back on the active track I wanted it to be.  I’m back on nights at work, picked up some extra holiday hours, rediscovered my love of rollerblading (Oh gosh I’m such a 90’s kid xDD ) and only got three more classes left of Ecology.  Let’s get things rolling (Hahaha I’m funny *shot* ) and do this summer right!  Summer’s a time of fun and being active and I’m gonna darn right make it so. 


Sometimes I have these dreams where I find a really cool fox for my collection…then I wake up and get really sad.  Cuz the fox in my dreams doesn’t even exist.  I swear my dreams like to taunt me. xD

Non-existent foxes that I can remember so far: A blue porcelain fox, and a silver fox plushie